Empty Words
by RandomImagination
Summary: Every time Shinichi said them to her, it hurt even more. Because they were just words. Just empty words.


"I promise I'll come back soon. I don't know when I'll get the chance, but I will," Shinichi said as he hung up.

Ran knew the call should've left her in high spirits; Shinichi had called for the first time in two weeks. But she wasn't happy. For many reasons, she just felt even worse.

Every time, he said the same thing. Spoke the words that got her hopes up, but slowly brought them crashing down again when he never fulfilled his promise.

Shinichi had yet to come home "soon" after a case. And even when he did, he gave no warning. Even when he did, he rushed off early, leaving her sitting there, crying and disheartened at his sudden departure. Sent Conan-kun to relay more of his words, tell her goodbye, tell he her was sorry he had to leave. He hadn't wanted to, but something had come up when she left the room briefly, or when he went to the bathroom even, and he had to leave right away. It was a development in the case too important to not leave then.

It was always the same thing, and as always, Shinichi couldn't even spare a few more minutes to say goodbye to her himself, in person.

But those were just more words, words he hadn't even taken the trouble to say himself. In a way, Ran thought that Conan-kun seemed more that Shinichi had had to leave than the detective himself did.

Then again, Ran wouldn't know. She'd never seen Shinichi leaving, and it had been so long since she'd heard the words "Bye, I'll see you soon" come from his own mouth.

Even when he called and said them, it wasn't the same. Phones were technology, and they left no room for personality or emotion to show though, except in the voices of the people talking.

It wasn't the same as talking to him face to face, and it wouldn't ever be. Besides, he'd never sounded as anguished as she was in her heart, or as desperate, when he spoke those words that should've been consoling.

"I promise I'll call back soon."

"I'll try to come home soon."

"I don't know how long I'm going to have to stay."

"Bye Ran. See you later."

Those and so many others. He'd said them all so many times, but rarely gone through with them. Words had meanings, but he seemed to have forgotten that.

Now there was nothing behind those words. No emotion, no intentions, no heart, no real promises.

They were just words now.

And what he said, the words he spoke, they weren't even words, in a sense. Not the words used to inspire nations or to write great literature and novels that absorbed and entertained people. They weren't the words one would use to tell someone they loved them either. Nor were they the words he used to speak about Sherlock Holmes or mysteries, things that interested him. Things he loved.

They were just words. Empty words and broken promises, reflecting the state of her heart when she heard them.

Every time Ran heard him say words like that, saying something she knew he couldn't mean, or making a promise she knew he wouldn't keep. Every time he said those empty words, it broke her a little more.

She'd been fine so far, and would probably be for awhile, as long as Shinichi didn't call. As long as Shinichi didn't show up, because every time he did, the joy inside her heart and the lifting of her pain was only a brief reprieve that made returning to her previous state so much worse.

His visits themselves hurt too, because in some miniscule part of her mind, a part that was becoming more pronounced each time, Ran knew that the time would come where he'd say those desolate words and make his hopeless promises to her once more. Words that would be proved empty and promises that would be broken.

Those hurt her too, the words and promises. Sometimes Ran wondered who was more consoled and reassured by them, her or Shinichi. Probably Shinichi, because hearing them always made her feel worse.

If Shinichi was such a great detective, why didn't he know that saying things like that just hurt her more? Or was he only saying them because he needed to hear them so badly himself that it made him blind to her pain.

To Ran they weren't even proper words any more. They were just representations of what she'd probably never have. What she couldn't even dare to hope for, because it hurt too much.

Ran wished she was strong enough to stop caring, strong enough to move on. But even if she didn't love him, Shinichi was still her best friend, and had been for years.

So she was going to have to grin and make the best of it, as she always did. Fake a smile for the world and for Shinichi.

Let him believe that his words and promises were helping her, so he could justify their use and make himself feel better with them.

Ran knew what to expect. She expected nothing but sorrow from him these days. And the joy that would come was temporary, and always would be now. She knew that. And for now, she'd expect it.

If she didn't expect anything more, than she wouldn't get hurt as much. But Ran knew that was futile, that every time she saw or heard him, he stirred up some tiny shred of hope that refused to be buried. Made her hope that this would be the time he meant what he said.

Made her hope that this would be the time that talking to him and seeing him would no longer hurt, because he meant it. Because he'd be coming home soon, coming home for good.

But no matter how hurt she was, Ran wouldn't worry anyone. She'd just smile, and let him believe. She'd listen to his words and promises and pretend they made her feel better.

Because that's all they were, in the end. Words and promises. Without anything in them or behind them, no intent, no commitment, no real emotion.

Empty words and broken promises.

So when Conan-kun walked in a minute later and said hi, Ran subtly wiped the tears that had fallen before turning around. She smiled and told him, "Welcome home Conan-kun."

Unlike Shinichi's words, Ran meant them, no matter how fake her smile. The emotion behind them was real, even if it was being drowned by unrelated matters. She'd never do to Conan-kun what Shinichi was doing to her.

She'd never leave him with just words, the way she'd been abandoned.

With empty words and broken promises, that did nothing to clear the clouds from the sky, or stop the everlasting rain.

Words and promises that would mean nothing, words that would only hurt her, until Shinichi meant them. Until he kept his promise. Until he was coming home for good. Until they were no longer just empty words.

Until then, Ran would just have to wait and tough it out.


End file.
